


THE BIRTH OF ANXIETY

by AllOfTheChaos



Category: Sanders Sides, Thomas Sanders, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Body Horror, Dark, Emotional Hurt, Gen, Horror, Hurt/Comfort, Origin Story, The Sides meet Virgil, The creaction of a side, Young Sides, angsty, headcannon, i don't know what happened, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-04
Updated: 2018-06-16
Packaged: 2019-03-26 16:05:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 18,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13861251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AllOfTheChaos/pseuds/AllOfTheChaos
Summary: I suck at summaries but i think the title explains it quite well.(Warning: Pretty Dark.)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Another Sanders Sides fic! YAY! 
> 
> So this is an idea I've been toying with for a while and i finally decided to write it! 
> 
> At first it was supposed to be a little weird but still pretty cute But then my brain went "NOPE! DARKEN THAT SHIT!" and i did. 
> 
> So yeah it is pretty dark, just fyi. 
> 
> Pardon any mistakes.

Morality was not okay.  

  
He hasn’t been okay for a while now and the other two sides were starting to get very worried.

  
It all started a month ago when Thomas got in a car accident with his dad. It wasn’t anything life threatening, thank god, but Thomas did end up with a broken wrist and his dad with a minor concussion. Still it could have been worst and after a nice long check up at the hospital they were both fine: a bit shaken up but fine.

  
At least physically that is.

  
After the accident Thomas had gotten cautious and jumpy and unfortunately so had Morality. In fact everything he was feeling was doubled.

  
Thomas was scared; Morality was _terrified._

  
Thomas was fidgety; Morality was _trembling._

  
Thomas was sad; Morality was a _sobbing mess on the floor._

  
And that kept going for weeks after Thomas’s accident and things were not getting better. In fact they were getting worst.

Morality had gotten thinner and paler, there were bags under his eyes from the constant nightmares he was having, which also resulted in constant storms in the mindscape.

Creativity and Logic tried their best to help him but nothing was working.

Morality was just not feeling okay.

Logic and Creativity started thinking about making themselves visible for Thomas and ask him for help even though it was risky seeing as he was too young. He was only 14 years old; they doubted he could deal

with all that information.

But they were getting desperate.

And then it happened.

  
***

  
It was a particularly stormy night in the mindscape: the house Creativity had conjured for them was shaking from the rumbling outside.

It was late but Logic was still awake and watching the wall sized TV in front of him which was the way the sides saw what Thomas was seeing, both when awake and when asleep.

Logic watched his host’s nightmare with a frown.

Thomas had been getting better at dealing with his anxious moments. He had become relaxed and happier and more like his usual self but the nightmares were still just as intense which Logic believed was

because of Morality who just couldn’t get over it.

Logic leaned forward and rested his hands on his knees.

  
**Thomas nightmare started with him in a car with his dad.**

 

Then _usually_ it took a sharp turn into the illogical and ridiculously terrifying. They never made sense to Logic which of course frustrated him greatly  but that was the way dreams worked.

But then...nothing happened.

Logic’s frown deepened.

Nothing ridiculous happened. They didn’t suddenly fall in a black hole, or blow up, or get run over by a stampede. The sky didn’t open up and suck them in. There was no sudden flood.

  
**The car just kept going and Thomas was watching his dad with terrified eyes, as if he knew what was about to happen. His father kept talking in a casual tone and with a small smile and then suddenly they got hit.**

**The car flipped and Thomas screamed.**

  
Logic’s heart skipped a beat at the sight. This was not a nightmare, he realized. _This was a memory._

Logic put a hand on his chest and tried to calm his hammering heart. _This is a memory. This is not happening right now. Relax. Breathe. Think._

Logic closed his eyes and took a deep breath. _Okay. Good. Think. Process. Now Thomas is going look ahead for a few moments before passing out. Just like before._

But then there was a scream.

Logic’s head snapped up.

  
**Thomas was in the wracked car looking at his hand which was missing. Blood was oozing out and the bone could be seen sticking out.**

  
Logic bolted out of his seat in a second.

“This is…This is a memory turned into a nightmare.” He breathed with a shaky voice.

  
**Thomas turned to his dad, crying and shaking like crazy.**

**His dad’s head was slammed into the steering wheel and was covered in blood. His eyes were wide open but lifeless.**

**“DAD!” Thomas cried.**

  
Just then an anguished scream filled Logic’s ears and suddenly everything shook.

Logic stumbled and turned around just in time to see Creativity running out of his room. He looked disheveled and terrified. He was still in his pajamas but was holding his samurai sword.

When the creative side caught sight of him he relaxed a bit and ran up to him.

He grabbed him by the arm and pulled him closer. “Logic what’s happening?!”

“I don’t know.”

The shaking suddenly stopped and both sides froze when they heard the sound of a door being slammed open. They turned towards the door and saw the last of them stumble out.

“Morality!” Roman ran to him and managed to catch him just as he stumbled. He lowered him gently to the ground and brushed some of the hair that had fallen in front of his eyes.

Logic quickly joined the two. He kneeled on the ground and lifted his hands as if to touch the emotional side but hesitated.

Morality was deathly pale and covered in sweat. He was shaking and crying and there were dark bags under his eyes. He… _god he was so skinny and so pale._ It was like his color was drained. His warm shine was gone.

Logic noticed a small black spot in the middle of Morality’s brown which seemed to be _growing?!_

_What is that? What’s happening to him? Is this…is this spreading? Is it an infection? A disease? Poison?!_

  
“ –ogic! Logic! LOGAN! ” Creativity’s voice pulled him out of his hazy thoughts and he looked up.

Creativity was looking at him with the terrified eyes of a child, fat tears falling down his cheeks.

“Logan, is Patton dying?!”

A painful lump settled in Logic’s throat and he looked down at Morality, trying to swallow down his fear.

He shook his head quickly. “No. No he’s not…he can’t…it isn’t possible…”

Logan had never sounded this unsure in his life.

Morality then started gasping for breath and both men quickly shifted their attention to him.

Logan cupped Morality’s face in his hands trying to get him to focus.

“Morality, breathe! Morality?! Patton! Patton look at me! You must look at me! ”

Patton cracked his eyes open and looked at Logan.

“Lo…gan…” he croaked, his teeth chattering.

“Yes! Yes, that’s it. Patton you need to tell us what you’re feeling right now so we can fix it.”

“Fix it?! How are we going to fix it? We don’t even know what’s happening to him!” Roman growled in frustration but the fear and hysteria was clear in his voice.

Patton shook violently in Roman’s hands and squeezed his eyes shut trying to get a hold of himself.

“I…I can’t…breathe…I don’t feel…everything hurts…. I’m so scared!” Patton managed to gasp out before curling into himself.

Logic moved his hands from Morality’s face and grabbed his shoulders. “Okay. Okay. Alright we…we need to…”

_He didn’t know what to do!_ _**Logic** didn’t know what to do! This was ridiculous! He was the problem solver! He had to know what to do! He had to figure it out._

“Logan?!” The creative side cried next to him as he watched Morality cough violently.

Logic was shaking now, he could feel tears stinging his eyes and he blinked rapidly.

The black spot on Patton’s forehead was growing with every second.

“LOGAN! WHAT DO WE DO?!” Roman screamed shaking as hard as Patton.

“We…we…we…need to…” Logan’s brain wasn’t working; the sight of Patton in such pain was stopping every coherent thought in his head.

“We need to get him to Thom…”

  
Suddenly Patton’s back arched and the other two sides watched in horror as _black smoke_ started coming out of his eyes and mouth but mostly out of that spot on his head.

  
Logic and Creativity stood frozen in place as the smoke burst out of Morality.

  
It gathered above their heads and started swirling in place.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it! Hope you liked it ! 
> 
> Well if you did and you are interested in this story please leave some Kudos and a comment to let me know. 
> 
> See ya. ^_^


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well since people showed interest in my little story, (which i am very happy about! YAY!) here is the next chapter! 
> 
> Hope you like it and Please pardon my mistakes! 
> 
> P.S. If you want i recommend listening to the the Edward Scissorhands soundtrack while reading this. I just think it fits the vibe of this story very well. Kind of creepy yet sad. :)

Patton took a deep steady breath.

Logic and Creativity’s wide and terrified eyes snapped to him immediately.

Patton blinked up at them a little dazed before smiling. “Heeey, guys!”

The two sides just stared at him in shock for a few moments. Before he knew it the moral side was wrapped in two pairs of hands and was being squeezed so tight he couldn’t take a breath.

Patton laughed and hugged them back as much as he could.

“H-hey, what is it? What’s with all the hugs? Not that I’m complaining or anything but…”

Roman and Logan pulled away from him and when Patton saw their tear-stained faces his words died in his mouth.

“Wh-what’s wrong? What happened? Are you two okay?” He asked his features turning worried as he touched each of their cheeks.

“Patton…” Roman breathed out in disbelieve, his hand covering Patton’s.

“Are WE okay?!” Logan snapped as more tears ran down his face, which he vigorously wiped off. “We thought you were dying!”

He grabbed the emotional side’s shoulders with his shaking hands and pulled him closer. “Don’t you remember?!”

Morality stared at Logan and his disheveled appearance, sudden guilt for worrying them so much started to fill his heart.

“I…I…I’m sorry, Logan…I didn’t mean to scare you guys.”

Logan’s eyes continued to search Patton’s face for any sort of recognition.“Are you serious?! Patton, tell me you remember what happened just know!”

“Yes I do! Um…I was feeling a little sick and…um…there was this rumble and then….um…I was…” Morality scratched his head for a moment looking down before huffing in frustration.

Logan gaped at him. “Patton!”

“I remember! It’s just a little…fuzzy, that’s all.” The moral side shrugged sheepishly.

“Do you at least remember the past few weeks?”

“Yes of course I do silly!” Patton beamed before thinking about it for a second. “They weren’t very nice though. I wasn’t feeling very good. There was something…something…” Patton started biting his lip when

Roman’s strained voice interrupted him.

“Not that I am not overjoyed that you are alive and well Padre but I think both of you should get up and stand behind me.”

Logan and Patton turned towards Roman and saw him in a battle stance with his sword raised high and his eyes trained on the ceiling.

Patton looked up and gasped.

There was black smoke swirling around right above their heads. Patton felt Logan grab his arm and pull him to his feet quickly. He stumbled a little, still not at 100% and a little dizzy.

Logan moved behind Roman before pushing the emotional side behind him. Patton placed his hands on the logical side’s shoulders and pressed against his back. None of the sides dared to look away from the thing on the ceiling.

“Wh-what is that?” The moral side asked in a shaky voice.

“That came out of you.” Roman informed which resulted in gasp from Patton. He leaned closer to the fanciful side which annoyingly resulted in Logan being squeezed between them both.

“It came out of me?! What? Why? ”

“We don’t know. It left your body and then you woke up.” Logan put in, as he tried to push back against Morality.

“Actually to be precise it left your head.” The creative side piped up, glancing over his shoulder at Patton.

“My head?! How?” Patton raised both brows in shock and confusion.

Roman turned fully towards Patton, to the logical side’s complete shock, for a moment completely forgetting about the thing flying above them, and started to explain.

“Well it kind of exploded from your face…” Roman mimicked a bomb exploding from his head with his hands and Patton “Ugh-ed”in disgust.

“The smoke started coming out of your eyes, and mouth and ears and nose and head and it was all black and it looked kind of sticky…”

“Ewww!” Patton whispered bouncing nervously on his heels, bumping into Logan who looked like he was losing his patience.

“And then it kind of…” But before Roman could finish his very colorful and detailed description the black smoke suddenly crashed onto the ground making all of them yelp and jump back.

Patton wrapped his hands around Roman and Logan as much as he could; pulling them closer. The creative side reached out behind him and put his free hand around them protectively. He then pointed his samurai sword at the smoke.

The creative side lifted his chin up and tried to look as intimidating as possible in his crown covered pajamas but he was really starting to wish he had put his princely attire on before coming out of his room.

The smoke’s movement on the floor started getting sharper and it began curling into itself before letting out a loud piercing inhuman screech.

All three sides covered their ears.

The smoke was starting to solidify getting thicker by the minute. It began vibrating, that weird animal like screeching still coming out of it but not as loud.

Logan, Patton and Roman watched in shock as the smoke began taking shape.

A head was formed, then a torso with arms and legs and in just a few seconds a human made out of smoke was kneeling on all fours in front of them. It almost looked like it had been burning and was put out just a few moments ago.

“Wha-what in the world is that?!” Romans voice shook as he watched the thing sway from side to side.

But it didn’t stop there.

The smoke coming out of the shape slowly started to evaporate and beneath it was skin; very pale but very human skin. Less and less smoke came out of the thing’s body and soon enough a very pale and very naked person with messy hair was in front of them.

And usually that would be the moment when the sides would all turn away from embarrassment but they just couldn’t look away because….because the thing’s limbs were _twisted._

One of its arms was turned around to face it, its shoulder looked dislocated, and one of its legs was longer than the other. And its fingers….God, its fingers…On one hand they were sticking out in all different directions like they were broken and on the other they were long and sharp like claws.

Roman was so transfixed by the thing that he failed to notice Patton passing by him. He jumped in the last second and grabbed his elbow pulling him back.

“What the heck are you doing?!” He shouted the fear clear in his voice.

“I…I wanna see if it’s okay.” Patton said like it’s the most obvious thing and Logan groaned.

“Patton we have no idea what that thing is you can’t just walk up to it and say “hi”! “

“Exactly and need I remind you that THAT came out of you! And THAT was the cause of all your suffering the past few weeks!” Princey pulled the moral side back, glaring at the creature a few feet away from them.

“We don’t…know that.” Patton murmured but even he didn’t seem to believe his words.

The other two gave him a knowing look.

The moral side looked at the ground thoughtfully before shaking his head and smiling. “Still that doesn’t mean it’s bad.” He insisted and yanked his arm out of Roman’s grip.

Patton walked up to the creature and kneeled down a few feet away from it.

“Be ready.” Logan whispered to Roman who gave a curt nod.

Patton reached out waving his hand and the creature convulsed suddenly. It crawled backwards and kept looking around frantically, as if waiting for an attack. Its whole body was shaking; his clawed hand kept scratching the floor.

Roman took a step forward but was stopped by Patton’s raised hand.

“Roman, don’t.” He said in a stern voice before turning towards the creature.

“I don’t think it can see us that well. That’s why it jumped back; because I moved too fast.” He explained and at least to Logan it sounded logical.

Roman glanced at the logical side who just shrugged helplessly before returning his gaze to the creature on the floor. He had such a tight grip around the samurai sword that his knuckles were turning white.

Logan took a long look at the humanoid creature and saw how it stood stock still even though they kept talking. It wasn’t attacking or backing off or reacting at all; it was as if…

“I think it might be deaf.” Logan said in a tone filled with curiosity.

“Deaf?” Patton and Roman turned to Logan. “How do you know?”

“The minute you moved closer it shrank back, which means that it sees us in a way.” Logan fixed his glasses and took a step forward, moving from behind Roman. “But we have been talking this whole time and it hasn’t reacted at all.”

Roman raised a brow and Patton scrunched up his nose, thinking Logan’s words through before…

“HI THERE!” The moral side shouted cheerily making Roman and Logan jump but the creature in front of him didn’t react.

The moral side tilted his head and started crawling towards it. He put one of his hands flat on the ground and started sliding it closer so the thing had a clear view of it.

It flinched a little and Patton stopped moving. He waited for a few moments so it could calm down and when it did he drummed his fingers on the ground. The creature titled its head to the side, curiously and

Patton inched forward a little. “Come on little buddy, it’s okay.”

“It can’t hear you.” Logan piped up from behind him but Patton ignored him.

The thing stared at Patton’s hand, it head tilting from side to side before starting to move its own hand towards it cautiously.

Patton grinned, his tongue sticking out of his mouth. “That’s it! Come on. I won’t hurt ya.”

Logan and Roman moved closer a little, concerned for the moral side’s safety.

Roman swallowed hard as he watched the creature move closer to Patton. “Patton I don’t think….”

Patton shushed him without looking away from the creature. Their hands were inches apart now and everyone was holding their breaths.

Patton’s warm soft fingers connected with the creature’s pale sharp claws and he gasped.

He felt a shock of electricity surge up through his arm and slam into his head. It was like getting shocked by a joy buzzed but not as unpleasant.  
Strange yet familiar warmth spread through him making him shiver.

The moral side looked up and it seemed that whatever he had felt, the creature had too because it jerked back violently and shuffled away, screeching horribly.

Patton reached out concerned but then Roman was right beside him sword pointed at the thing.

“STAND BACK VILE CREATURE!” He roared and the creature flinched, his crocked hands flying up to its ears. It’s screaming and whimpering filled the quite room making everyone feel uneasy.

“What’s happening! Roman what did you do?” Logan shouted, grabbing Patton’s shoulder and trying to pull him back.

“I didn’t do anything it just freaked out!” Roman yelled back glancing at the logical side angrily.

The creature’s screams where getting louder, sounding very much like a wounded animal’s.

“Quiet!” Patton’s voice echoed through the room silencing everyone.

Logan and Roman’s mouths clicked shut and they took a step away from the moral side, unconsciously grabbing onto each other.

Patton sounded well…kind of angry! That had never happened before.

The logical and creative side watched with wide eyes as the moral side made his way to the whimpering and shivering mess of a creature on the floor and kneeled in front of it, with a sad expression.

The thing was curled up into a ball, its twisted hands wrapped around its chest. Its head was bowed so low it was touching its knees.

“Shhh. Shhhhh. It’s okay. Calm down.” Patton whispered in his softest voice slowly touching the creature’s back.

It jolted, letting out a pathetic whine and Patton felt a sudden urge to protect this creature at all cost. He started to coo at it while continuing to caress its back gently. “It’s okay, sweetie. You’re okay. I won’t hurt you, little guy. I promise.”

The moral side put his other hand on its mop of hair and started stroking it too, continuing to whisper sweet nothings to it.

The creature’s tremors seemed to lessen after a while and it uncurled itself slowly, straitening up. Patton shuffled a little closer his hands moving to the creature’s shoulders.

“That’s it. You gonna let me see that handsome face of yours?” Patton smiled tilting his head down to try and see it.

Roman and Logan shared a confused look, still too cautious to move closer.

The creature’s shoulders lifted and it shrunk back as if nervous before slowly raising its head.

Patton lifted his hand and brushed the hair out of the creature’s face.

His smile grew when a paler and thinner version of Thomas Sanders looked back at him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well that's it for this chapter! :) 
> 
> If you liked it please leave me some Kudos and a comment. It'd really make my day! 
> 
> See ya! ^_^


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay new chapter! Hope you like it! 
> 
> Sorry for the wait and the mistakes I may have made.

Roman’s sword clattered to the ground the minute he saw that the creature looked like Thomas.

_This isn’t right. This couldn’t be happening! If that…that “thing” looked like Thomas…like one of them than...that meant that…!_

Roman watched as Patton started running his fingers through the creature’s hair trying fix the mess that it was.

“Hi, buddy my name is Patton!” Morality’s soft and bubbly voice filled Roman’s ears.

_How could he act so…? After everything that just happened! After what that thing did...! How could he be so….So…?!_

“But you can call me Dad if you want!” Patton giggled as the creature lifted his clawed hand and poked his glasses lightly in curiosity

“THAT'S ENOUGH!” He shouted stepping towards the pair on the floor.

The creature flinched at his harsh tone and threw itself into Patton’s chest. The moral side quickly wrapped his arms around it tightly and turned to Roman.

“Roman, calm down. It’s okay! See!” He looked down at the shaking creature in his arms before looking back at the creative side. “He’s nice!”

Roman shook his head. “ _IT_ IS NOT NICE! Now let it go and come stand behind me before it does something more to you!”

Patton laughed in disbelief but there was worry in his eyes, not because of the creature but because of Roman. “Roman, come on don’t be silly! He won’t hurt me. He’s one of us!”

“No, it’s not!” Roman watched the creature peer at him with its strange bloodshot eyes while continuing to shake, its nails dug hard into the moral side’s shirt, ripping it. Images Patton crying and shaking in his arms flashed before Roman’s eyes making him shudder and take a step back.

“It can’t be one of us…” He whispered.

“Actually, it seems it can.” Logan’s monotone voice echoed through the room making them all turn.

Logan was standing a few feet away from them his hand pointing behind him.

Roman looked confused at first but then his eyes found the newly formed black door right next to Patton’s and his breath was knocked out of his lungs.

_…No…_

***

Roman was grabbing his sword and storming out of the room in seconds, the door to the kitchen slamming shut behind him.

Patton gave Logan a worried look, wanting to go talk to the fanciful side but not wanting to leave the shaking little thing in his arms.

The logical side sighed and waved Patton off. “Don’t worry. I’ll go talk to him.”

Patton smiled at him and gave a quick nod before returning his attention back to the new side.

The last thing Logan saw before entering the kitchen was Patton poofing his cardigan into existence and warping it around the new side’s thin shoulders.

***

When Logan entered the kitchen, he found the creative side pacing around the kitchen in an agitated manner, his sword was held tight in one hand and he kept running his other hand through his hair.

“Dose the walking around make you feel better?” Logan crossed his arms and leaned against the doorframe.

Roman spared him a glance continuing to pace. “Yes…No….”

“Then why do it?”

“Cause if I don’t I might do something stupid!” Roman muttered gritting his teeth.

Logan continued to watch the creative side pace the kitchen for a few more seconds before he sighed in exasperation and moved forward.

“Why do you find it so hard to be believe, that a new side was just created!”

Roman’s legs came to an abrupt stop and he spun on his heels turning to the logical side with fury in his eyes.

“ _WHY?!_ Because when we were created it didn't happen like that! We didn’t burst out of Patton while he screamed in agony AND we _definitely_ didn’t look like a…a broken hell spawn when we appeared!”

Logan was startled at first by Roman’s booming voice but he quickly composed himself and crossed his hands behind his back.

“I will agree that his..um..“creation” was out of the ordinary but when _You_ were first created you didn’t exactly resemble a normal human being Roman.”

The fanciful side let out an offended gasp and a smug smirk appeared on Logan’s lips as he fixed his glasses.

“Three eyes and a tail wouldn’t exactly be considered normal. And don’t get me started on your feet.”

“Listen here, Specs, I am creativity and it makes sense _for me_ to need a few tries before I figured out the norm for what a person was at the time.” Roman crossed arms and his eyes darkened as he gazed at the kitchen door. “But _that thing_ in there is not creativity so he has no reason to look like _that_!”

“What else would he be if he isn’t a side?”

“A negative thought? Or a nightmare that was so strong that it became corporeal?! I don’t know! But whatever it is, IT IS NOT A SIDE!”

Roman walked right next to Logan and lifted his sword towards the kitchen door which led to the common room, where Patton and the “side” were. He turned his head towards the logical side with angry tears in his eyes. “A new side would never cause Patton such harm!”

Logan took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes to give himself a few moments to think before he put them back on. “There is one very important thing that you seem to be forgetting Roman.”

The creative side raised a brow.

“A new door formed.”

Roman’s eyes narrowed and he looked away biting his lower lip.

***

Back in the common room Patton helped the new side put on his cardigan and buttoned it down. The new side was skinnier and smaller than Morality so the cardigan was a bit too big for him, reaching just above his knees.

“Hey, how about we move to the couch? What do you say buddy?” Patton smiled and got to his feet, pulling the side up with him.

The small side staggered when he tried to stand on his feet and when Patton looked down he saw that one of his legs was longer than the other.

“Oh! Right, right, right! You still don’t have a…handle on yourself. Sorry. ” Patton giggled when the new side titled his head in confusion.

Morality picked up the new side in his arms and carried him to the couch. The small side yelped in surprise and grabbed onto Patton’s shirt, holding on to it for dear life.

The moral side gently placed him on the couch before sitting down himself. The new side was sitting with his uneven legs stretched in front of him and his arms wrapped around his torso.

Patton looked the new side over and all his twisted limbs before scratching his head. “Okay, we need to...um…take care of this so…”

He looked at the new side who just stared back at him with his big wide eyes.

“Do you understand what I’m saying to you?”

The small side hesitated for moment thinking about it before nodding.

“Okay great! I’m guessing it’s more of a “kind of” than a “yes” so I’ll keep things simple for ya don’t worry.”

The moral side scooted closer to the new side and stretched his legs in front of him.

“Okay so your legs are supposed to be the same. See?” He bumped one foot against the other to show that they’re the same length.

The new side tiled his head looking at Patton’s legs. He folded his own legs and placed his feet on the ground, the pose looked awkward because of the difference in length.

The small side started pressing down on the floor with his longer leg as if trying to make it sink. Patton looked at the small side with a concerned look but before he could speak he saw the long leg start to shrink.

The new side placed one hand on his knee and started pushing down. The long leg kept shaking as it became short and the moral side could see sweat start to travel down the new side’s brow. Patton’s worry increased and he quickly placed a hand on the side’s back.

“Okay, okay that’s enough buddy!”

The side stopped and looked at him with confusion. His leg was just a few inches longer than the other but it at least looked somewhat normal.

“Don’t want you to tire yourself out. You still have your arms to fix, right!”

The new side sighed tiredly and nodded, stretching his arms in front of him.

Patton looked them over, rubbing his chin with his finger.

“Well, it looks like this arm.” He pointed to the new side’s right arm. “Is turned around so if you could just…um…see?” he held up both his hands to demonstrate again.

The smaller side blinked at Patton’s hands a few times before he grabbed his twisted hand and snapped it to the side. There was a loud crack as the arm twisted into the right place and the small side gritted his teeth, his brows scrunching up in pain.

Patton gasped next to him and grabbed his now normal looking arm, rubbing it gently. “Oh, my goodness! Don’t just do that! Are you okay?! Did that hurt?”

The new side shook his head innocently but the moral side had seen him wince.

Next was the new side’s dislocated shoulder. Patton placed his hand on it gently. “Um…this is supposed to um…not stick out like that. Do you feel like it’s popped out of place?”

The new side nodded his head before sharply leaning his shoulder against Patton’s hand. The shoulder gave a loud pop which made the moral side yelp.

“Oh my goodness I AM SO SORRY! Did I hurt you?! I didn’t mean to! I wasn’t even pressing on it, you just moved forward and it went “Pop!”! I…I just…!”

The new side leaned forward and nuzzled into Morality’s chest, trying to show him that he wasn’t mad or hurt.

Patton jumped a little but he quickly wrapped his hands around the little side. “Aww, kiddo!” he cooed and started rocking them both from side to side.

“You think you can fix those long finger nails too?”

The side lifted his clawed hand and they slowly started shrinking. After a minute or so the new side sighed tiredly slumping against the moral side, who just rubbed his back reassuringly. The fingers looked normal now but they still had long thick nails.

“Don’t worry, that’s fine for now. You were just born after all; you need some time to get the hang of things.”

Just then the big screen in front of them flickered back to life and both sides jumped in surprise.

 

**They saw from a first-person perspective someone blinking up at a bedroom ceiling. They sat up on the bed and swung their legs to the floor before getting up and starting to walk.**

Patton gasped happily. “Oh yeah! I almost forgot.”

 

**The person walked into a bathroom and leaned against a sink, blinking slowly before turning one of the taps on and splashing water on his face.**

“Little guy, I would like to introduce you to a very special someone!” Patton smiled pulling the new side up and walking him closer to the screen.

 

**The person took a towel and dried his face off from the water before lifting his head and looking into the bathroom mirror.**

The new side gazed at the person’s reflection in the mirror and suddenly a sharp pain slammed into the head, making him cry out and crumble to his knees.

“Kidoo?! What’s wrong?! What’s happening?!” Patton crouched next to him with a panicked expression and placed his hands on his back, wanting to do something but not knowing what.

The new side dug his nails into his scalp as the pain sharpened. It was like someone was drilling a hole into his scalp. He squeezed his eyes shut and pressed his forehead to the ground, gasping for breath.

“LOGAN! ROMAN!” Patton screamed in terror his eyes filling with tears.

Thousands of images suddenly started pouring into the new side’s mind. They were all of the boy from the reflection. There were images of him laughing and crying, playing outside and watching TV at home.

The new side saw the boy alone and with friends, he saw him playing games, singing and dancing. Information about his life filled the new side’s brain. Now he knew everything there is to know about the boy because he realized he was a part of him.

“Patton, I think you should step away from it!” Roman’s distant voice reached the new side’s ears making him whimper.

“What happened?! What were you two doing?!” Logan’s stern tone followed Roman’s.

“Nothing!” Patton cried out next to him. “I was helping him out and…and I was just about to tell him about…”

The new side’s eyes snapped open.

“…Thomas…” The small side’s hoarse voice echoed through the room making the other three stare in shock.

He slowly lifted his head and looked at Patton, who had tears running down his cheeks and was staring back at him with wide eyes.

“Yeah…” He croaked before covering his mouth with his hands. “Oh my goodness you can talk! Aw, kiddo! I was so worried!”

Patton leaped and wrapped his arms around the small side squeezing him tight.

“What?!” Roman muttered confused, looking at the two on the ground.

“Well as fascinating as that was.” Logan turned to Roman with a raised brow. “It also proves ones again that our new acquaintance here is a side.”

Roman huffed crossing his hands over his chest. “Well what is it then?!”

The fanciful side turned his heated gaze to the new side. “What side are you?! Huh?!”

Said side whimpered and buried his face in Patton’s chest, who just cooed at him worriedly.

“Roman, be nice!” Patton hissed. “He’s been through a lot! Give him some time.”

“I don’t…know…” The new side croaked, surprising everyone. His voice was slightly rougher than the others’, sounding worn out and overused.

Roman’s eyes narrowed in suspicion as he took a step closer his voice booming. “What?! How can you not know?! We all knew who we were the minute we were created!”

Logan’s hand found the fanciful side’s shoulder pulling him back to a stop. “Actually, that is incorrect.”

Roman glanced over his shoulder at Logan in surprise, Patton and the new side mimicking his expression.

Logan cleared his throat and fixed his glasses before continuing. “If I remember correctly all three of us found out what kind of side we were after we went into our rooms.”

“Oh yeah!” Patton exclaimed suddenly remembering.

“Right.” Roman murmured in annoyance, before lifting his chin up again and straightening his back. “Well what are you waiting for Gollum? Go in your room.”

Annoyance flashed in the new side’s eyes before his attention was drawn by Patton who was lifting him to his feet. He was still a little unbalance because of the few extra inches to one of his legs but at least he could stand on his own now.

Patton wrapped an arm around his shoulders and they both started walking towards the room.

“What do you say kiddo? Wanna check out your room?”

They stopped in front of the black wooden door and it suddenly creaked open startling them both.

“Haha, it’s like you room can’t wait for you!” Patton giggled patting the new side’s shoulder.

But the side did not agree with Morality’s jokey statement because dread suddenly started filling his chest as he gazed at that dark door. He felt cold air touch his feet and fear run up his spine, making his body shake.

_He did not want to go in there._

The new side took a hesitant step back lowering his head.

“What’s wrong kiddo? You…you don’t wanna go in there?” Patton asked hesitantly.

The new side shook his head quickly, taking another step back.

“Well that’s very unusual.” Logan muttered from behind them. “Why would he not want to go into his room?”

Logan stepped towards the door and reached out to grab the handle but that’s when something tugged him back. He turned around to see the new side holding onto his shirt with terrified eyes.

“What?” Logan raised a brow his curiosity pushing down the uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach.

The new side shook his head desperately. “… _No_ …!” he whined pulling on Logan’s shirt even more.

Logic and Morality shared a concerned look before they did what the new side asked and stepped away from the door.

“Hey. It’s fine, you don’t have to go in just yet, okay?” Patton pulled the small side to his chest. The side grabbed onto Patton’s shirt and sniffed as tears filled his eyes.

“Whenever you’re ready, kiddo.” Patton reassured, running his hand up and down the side’s back.

“This is ridiculous! You’re all ridiculous!” Roman said shaking his head. “I’m done. I'm going to bed and I suggest you do the same.”

He spun on his heels dramatically, well as dramatic as one could be in their pajamas and walked off to his door. He turned toward the others just before going into his room and leveled them with a serious look. “I suggest you lock your doors.”

He slammed the door and clicked the lock, filling the room with a somewhat awkward silence.

“Why would we lock our doors?” Morality wondered, completely missing the meaning behind the fanciful side’s words.

“Patton.” Logan tried, turning towards him with hesitance.

The moral side suddenly clapped his hands and turned to the new side in excitement. “Oh! You wanna sleep in my room?!”

“Um…Patton I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Logan said trying to sound casual.

Both older and younger side turned to Logic with confusion.

“What? Why?” Patton asked and the small side pressed against him, worry frowning his brow.

Logan cleared his throat, trying to buy himself some time. “Well, because…um…you don’t know how your room might affect him.”

“But my room is happy and calm and just what he needs!” Patton declared, ruffling the new side’s hair.

“You don’t know that.” Logan countered. “He was just created and you and I both know that the first few hours after that are crazy. All the…um…feelings and stuff are jumbled up and you don’t know up from down and…”

Logic saw doubt start creeping into Morality’s face and he quickly pressed on. “Your room might just double everything he’s feeling right now and make things worse.”

Patton bit his lip and looked down at the new side with concern. The small side had a similar expression on his face.

“The best place for him right now is here. The common room is a neutral zone so he should feel most comfortable in it.” Logan fixed his glasses and looked at the ground.

There was a bit of silence before Morality spoke up again.

“Well what do you say kiddo? You okay to stay here?”

The new side shrunk into himself, wrapping his arms around his shoulders.

“I can stay here if you want?” Patton asked with a smile and some of the tension eased off of the side’s body.

“No, you can’t!” Logan’s commanding voice filled the room, making the others jumps. Logan cleared his throat, composing himself. “Patton you haven’t slept normally for months you need to go to your room and recuperate.”

The emotional side bit his lip looking guilty but didn’t argue, which told Logic enough about his current condition.

Patton quickly smiled when he saw the worry on the new side’s face and clapped his hands, making a blanket and a pillow pop into existence. “Okay but, you’re gonna take these things so you can snuggle into them and I’m gonna leave the TV on for you so you don’t feel lonely, okay?”

The new side took the blanket and pillow Patton offered to him and hugged them tightly, before nodding. He quietly limped and sat on the couch looking down at his uneven feet.

He heard footsteps walking away from him and felt tears fill his eyes for the tenth time today. Just then a pair of naked feet came into his view, wiggling their toes.

The side lifted his head slowly and suddenly felt lips press against his forehead. He blinked up at Patton who was smiling down at him before walking away, with a quiet “Sweet dreams, kiddo.”

The new side put his hand over the place where Patton had kissed his forehead and he felt his cheeks getting warm and a small smile pull at his lips.

He felt calm spread through him easing the tension in his body.

 

He laid down on the couch and fell asleep for the first time in his life. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well that's it for this chapter. 
> 
> I know that Roman is kind of a dick right now and don't get me wrong I absolutely love that overdramatic bean but in this story it's gonna take him a while to warm up to our dear anxious baby. 
> 
> If you liked it please leave some Kudos or a comment, it'd really make my day! 
> 
> See ya! ^_^


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter finally! I'll be quick i promise! 
> 
> First of all i am VERY SORRY for making you all wait so long! I had a ridiculous amount of work recently. It just came out of nowhere and i barely had any time to write. I didn't really have time to write. 
> 
> Second of all i had a little idea and i had to make a few changes to the story to make things work so that too took a little bit of extra time.  
> So yeah... Again I AM REALLY SORRY for making you wait. 
> 
> And i PROMISE That the next chapter will be out in a day or two tops.

When Roman woke up the next day he made sure to put on his prince outfit so he wouldn’t look like a fool in front of the “new side”.

He went into the common room and looked around. There wasn’t anyone else there but he could hear noise coming from the kitchen which met Logan was awake, per usual.

He heard noise from the couch and slowly walked up to it, intrigued. He peered down from behind it and let out an undignified yelp when two big sunken in brown eye stared back at him.

Roman took a step back, straightening his clothes and huffing angrily at the new side, who was curled up on the couch, the blanket Patton had given him covering everything except for his eyes and the top of his head.

“Weirdo.” Roman muttered, turning around and heading towards the kitchen.

When he entered it he found himself relaxing a bit when he laid eyes on the logical side. He was sitting at the table with a cup of tea and a book in his hand.

“Heya, Specs.” He muttered going to get some cereal from the cupboard.

“Good morning, Roman.” Logan took a sip from his cup turning the next page of his book. “How did you sleep?”

“Fine.” Roman took a carton of milk from the fridge and settled next to Logan. “Did you greet our new “acquaintance”?”

“Yes, although he isn’t much for conversation. He seems to enjoy staring at things and not blinking.”

“Weirdo.” Roman angrily poured his milk and cereal into the bowl at the same time. Logan rolled his eyes.

Logan flipped the next page. “He is new. He needs some time to adjust.”

“I don’t know. I’m still not sure about him.” Roman muttered stirring his cereal.

Logan sighed, annoyed and let the book drop on the table. “What are you not sure about? It is more than obvious he is a new side.”

Roman leaned a bit closer to Logan whispering the next words. “Okay, okay but what if he’s not like the three of us?”

Logan made a face. “Who else could he be like?”

Roman raised a knowing brow and it took Logan a moment to get what he meant but when he did he let out a drawn out. “Ohhhh, right.”

A tense silence filled the kitchen, the only thing that could be heard was Roman’s foot nervously tapping on the ground.

“Well his creation is still unorthodox and he seems harmless now so maybe he’s not…” Logan trailed off biting his lower lip nervously.

Roman sighed. “And what if he is?”

Logan stared at his hands resting on the table. “We’ll cross that bridge if we get to it.”

There’s another tension filled moment of silence before Roman mumbled. “Patton is very fond of him.”

Logan took off his glasses to rubbed his eyes, suddenly feeling very tired. “I know.”

That’s when said side burst into the kitchen with a big bright smile on his face dragging the new side along with him. He still had the blanket wrapped around his thin shoulders to keep himself warm and decent.

“GOOD MORNING GUYS!”

“Good morning Patton.”

“Morning, Padre.”

Patton dragged the new side to the table and plopped him down on one of the chairs. The side quickly shrunk into himself when he met the other two’s serious gazes.

“How ya feeling?” Roman asked turning around to look at Morality who was getting a bunch of eggs out of the fridge.

“Like I million bucks! I haven’t slept this good in a while!”

“Really?” Some of the tension in Roman’s chest eased up at those words.

Patton grabbed the cereal box next to Roman and shook it around grinning like a goof. “Cereal-sly!”

Roman snorted and Logan groaned shaking his head. That’s when something caught the logical side's eye. He saw something that looked very much like a smile pull on the new side’s lips.

Logan fixed his glasses turning to him. “And how did you sleep…uhm…small one.”

The new side’s head snapped up and he immediately turned red when he realized that all the attention was on him now. He barely nodded and muttered a quiet “okay” before looking down at his lap.

“This is the first time you’ve ever slept kiddo, did you have any cool dreams?” Patton asked over his shoulders while scrambling the eggs he was making.

“…no.” The new side mumbled under his breath wrapping his arms around himself.

“Well it usually takes some time for things to…um… start working.” Logan said trying to sound reassuring.

“Not this long.” Roman muttered under his breath but the new side heard him and sunk lower into the chair.

“The eggs are ready! You guys want some bacon with that?”

“Yes that would be lovely thank you, Patton.” Logan said and returned to his book.

“I’m eating cereal.” Roman said a bit apologetically looking over at Patton.

“Eggs and cereal sounds like an amazing breakfast!” Patton grinned excitedly setting a plate of eggs in front of Roman. The Prince sighed but couldn’t keep the smile off his face.

“Well sounds like a challenge to me!” He declared before digging into the food.

After getting some bacon Patton set a small plate of scrambled eggs in front of the new side before sitting down at the table and eating his own breakfast.

Comfortable small talk was exchanged between the three of them. From time to time Patton would turn to the new side and see him just push the food around with his fork not eating it.

He felt tightness in his chest but he was quickly distracted by Roman who was talking about the absurdly wonderful dream he had last night.

***

And somehow in the next few days a new routine was formed among the sides.

Well it wasn’t that much different from their old one actually; it was just that this time Patton had a little shadow with him. Wherever he went the new side would be right behind him stumbling from time to time on his uneven legs and looking around nervously.

Logan had agreed to give the new side some of his clothes, so a black t-shirt and black pajama bottoms where presented to the new side which he gratefully accepted but he still kept Morality’s cardigan around his shoulders. Patton was ecstatic, thinking it was the sweetest thing in the world.

Actually with every passing day… _no_ , with every passing hour Patton grew more and more attached to the new side. He would talk to him constantly explaining things he thought were neat and exciting. The new side didn’t talk much but he was constantly there, listening intently to everything Patton told him. Whenever they would sit on the couch the new side would curl up somewhere around Morality like a kitten and just hold on to him, as if he let go he'd lose Patton somehow.

Logan grew more and more indifferent towards the new side.

The more he watched the side the more he seemed harmless to him. Logic didn’t make any sort of connection with him because the new side didn’t talk often. But still there was this suspicion in Logan. The new small side’s reluctance to go to his room and completely become who he is irked Logic to no end.

Actually one morning Logan woke up and found one of the single couches pushed against the new black door. When he asked the new side why he did that he just shook his head frantically and said, _“Don’t wanna go in there.”_ And when Logic asked why, the side just answered with, _“Bad.”_

That did not ease Logan’s suspicion at all.

 

Now Roman was a completely different story.

The Prince’s fondness towards the new side didn’t grow one bit neither did his indifference. Actually things got worst.

He was angry and suspicious and a little bit jealous that Patton gave all of his attention to this new side. He started calling the new side colorfully insulting nicknames seeing as Patton got mad at him if he did anything else that was considered mean. What Roman really wanted was to just scare the new side away from them all so they could go back to their normal lives but seeing as that wasn’t possible he settled on insults.  
Patton and Logan also had their own nicknames for the new side since they didn’t have a name to call him by. Patton called him “kiddo”, Logan “little one” and the nickname Roman kept coming back to was “Gollum.” He thought it fit him quite well. 

The new side though mostly kept to himself when Patton wasn’t around. He would sit in the corners of the rooms and just look at everyone.

He slept on the couch and one time when Thomas had a nightmare the other sides found him curled up in a ball under the kitchen table crying his eyes out in fear. Logan had spend half an hour trying to convince him to come out. It didn’t work, of course but when Patton finally woke up and went into the kitchen he found his arms full of the trembling new side.

Logan was more than a little annoyed.

Also much to Roman’s dismay the new side didn’t look like he was planning on going into his room anytime soon. He kept away from it like the plague was hidden behind it. If he had to pass by the door he would run and he would constantly try to block it with whatever he could.

_Roman didn’t like that. It just made him question everything. It made him doubt things and it made him fear things._

***

One night while everyone was asleep the Prince made his way to the new black door, in full attire with his sword held tight. He moved the chair the new side had propped up against the door and reached out.

Roman saw his hand tremble and he gritted his teeth before grabbing the handle and pulling.

Cold air hit his face and he blinked a few times taking the sight before him.

It was… _empty._

Roman kept blinking shocked.

_It was just an empty room._

Roman walked inside the room, looking around.

_There was nothing here!_

It was just a cold dark empty room. No monsters, no strange other worlds, no nightmares just white walls waiting to be covered. There was a window on one of the walls but that was about it.

Roman’s grip on the sword tightened.

He left the room in three quick strides and shut the door behind him.

He looked at the couch, where the new side was currently sleeping on and he felt his blood begin to boil as hatred filled him up.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it ! Pardon my mistakes. 
> 
> And i know that this chapter was a bit short but the next chapter is where shit goes down! :D  
> Also after this chapter there will probably be two more chapters and that will be the end of the story, just fyi. 
> 
> SO if you liked it please leave some Kudos and a comment, it really makes my day and helps me out and see ya guys next time. ^_^


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay new chapter. YAy! 
> 
> Hope you like it sorry for the mistakes and well enjoy! :D

One week later their morning started as any other.

Logan woke up and made himself some tea, then Roman followed talking about his wonderful dreams looking perfect as always and finally Patton came into the kitchen with his little stumbling shadow. 

They ate breakfast and chatted, waiting for Thomas to wake up and start his day, as well as theirs.

By the time their host was fully awake and functioning like a normal human being all the sides had settled on the couch in the common room, looking at the big screen on the wall.

Roman was sitting on the far right of the couch followed by Logan then Patton and finally their new little side. Said side was curled up, hugging his knees and looking at the TV with equal parts curiosity and nervousness.

They were watching Thomas in the kitchen with his mom. She had wanted to try some extravagant recipe for a breakfast she had seen on TV and had asked Thomas to lend a hand.

**Their host was currently filling his hands with a bunch of vegetables and trying not to drop them on the floor as he stood up.**

“Oh, I wonder what kind of breakfast it’s gonna be!” Patton bounced in his spot excitedly.” I wanna try to make it later!”

Roman raised a surprised brow turning to the moral side. “Padre, his mom just told him a few minutes ago!”

“Yeah but she kind of lost me and Thomas halfway through.” Patton shrugged with a sheepish smile.

Logan sighed rolling his eyes at the two. “Well, fortunately for you she didn’t lose me.” He informed and small black notebook popped into existence in his hand.

“I wrote down the recipe right here.”

Patton gasped and almost slammed himself into Logan’s shoulder, trying to look. Roman wrapped his arm around Logic’s neck and leaned in, intrigued. The new side craned his neck to try and look but seeing as he was too shy and nervous to move closer he couldn’t see anything.

“Hmm, how are all _these stuff_ gonna make something good?” Roman muttered a bit put off as he read all the ingredients.

“Well…um…” Patton scratched his chin leaning closer. “…maybe…hmm…”

**“Thomas can you start cutting the vegetables for me please.” Thomas’s mom piped up from her spot at the sink.**

The new side sighed and returned his attention to the screen a bit disappointed that he couldn’t see what the others were looking at.

**“Sure!” Thomas grinned piling the vegetables on his left before placing a cutting board in front of him. He grabbed some lettuce with one hand while reaching out for the knife with the other.**

The new side saw what was gonna happen before it did.

Suddenly his chest tightened and his heart began hammering like crazy. Alarms started going off in his head and before he knew it he was bolting up from the couch and screaming at the top of his lungs.

“STOP, STOP, STOP, STOP, STOP, STOP, STOP!”

The other three sides snapped their heads up towards the TV and they all watched as Thomas’s hand froze just a few inches away from the sharp end of the knife.

**Thomas gasped when he looked down at his hand. “Oops!”**

**“What?” His mother asked looking over her shoulder.**

**“Almost grabbed the wrong end of the knife, there!” Thomas laughed nervously.**

**“Thomas!” His mom said in an exasperated tone.**

**“Sorry, sorry!”**

**“Be careful!”**

**“ I will, I will, sorry!” He said before shaking his head and getting to work.**

Patton, Logan and Roman slowly turned to the new side, who was standing on shaky feet and breathing hard.

His heart was still pounding in his chest and he placed his clawed hand over it, trying to make it stop. He turned towards them nervously and when he saw their wide eyes he turned red from embarrassment and shame.

“I…I…I’m sorr…” But before he could finish Patton was enveloping him in a big hug.

“OH MY GOSH, kiddo that was amazing!” Patton laughed squeezing the little side and spinning them both around. “You saved Thomas’s hand! Bravo!”

The new side pulled away and was now even redder but this time he had a little smile on his face. “That was…okay?” He asked in a shaky voice.

“Okay?! That was more than okay! That was great!” Patton grinned ruffling the new side’s mop of hair, making him blush even harder. The tightness in his chest was starting to ease up.

“That was… _quite_ the influence you had on him, little one.” Logan piped up suddenly, drawing the two’s attention.

Logan was looking at the new side with renewed interest but there was also something else… something _cold_ in his expression.

The new side swallowed hard and there was that tightness in his chest again. _Great…_

The side looked away from Logan not able to hold eye contact with him and his eyes shifted, landing right on Roman. The new side felt his heart skip a beat when he saw the anger and horror in Roman’s eyes.

“How the heck did you do that?” Roman said through gritted teeth, standing up from the couch.

“Roman he’s a side, of course he can do stuff like that!” Patton explained, looking confused and a little bit nervous.

“You had complete control over his body.” Logan sat up as well, his hands behind his back.

“Did you control his mind too?” Roman asked in a low dangerous tone taking a step towards the new side.

“W-what? No!” The new side moved behind Patton grabbing onto his shirt. “I don’t…No I didn’t…I…”

“Come on now slugger, ease up.” Patton said to Roman holding up one hand. He reached behind with his other to touch the new side’s hand, trying to calm him down.

Roman pursed his lips looking away.

He was quiet for a moment having some inner argument with himself before straightening his back and looking back at the new side.

“How about you go to your room, huh?”

The new side’s eyes went wide he felt his head shake on its own. “Uhm…”

He took a step back and away from Patton. Morality looked over his shoulder at him with worry before he turned to the other two. “Guys…”

“It has been more than a week now.” Logan’s monotone voice made the side take another step back. The small side grabbed the front of his over-sized shirt trying to occupy his shaking hands.

“Guys come on, don’t push him! If he doesn’t want to yet we won’t force him.” Patton said standing between the three.

“But why doesn’t he want to?” Logan raised a critical brow.

“It’s bad!” The new side crocked, backing away. He was now passed the couch.

“You keep saying that!” Roman almost growled, moving towards him. “What does that mean?!”

Patton turned towards the new side and there was conflict in his eyes. “Kiddo? Just tell ém.”

“I don’t…I can’t…It’s…bad in there! It just bad!” The new side stuttered hugging himself and taking another step back. Tears started filling his eyes as he kept looking at the three sides feeling helpless.

“Oh, yeah? Well I don’t think that’s true.” Roman kept moving closer and closer.

“Roman!” Patton started walking towards him but was stopped by Logan.

“How come, Roman?”

The Prince turned towards Logic and Morality and raised his chin up. “I went into the room.”

Patton gasped. “What?!”

“I went into the room and there was _nothing_ there!” Roman pointed at the black door. “It was just a dark empty room!”

Roman locked eyes with Patton, speaking the next words slowly. “”He was lying to us.”

Morality flinched at the words taking a step back and bumping into Logan. “N-no…I’m sure he…”

Roman turned his stormy gaze on the new side. “You were, weren’t you?!”

The new side was shaking his head vigorously stepping back and breathing hard.

“You were just playing us! Manipulating us!”

The new side was shaking so hard he thought he was going to fall apart. “N-no…I…I swear...!”

“Roman…” Patton tired again to move but Logic held him back.

“Tell the truth! Why did you lie about your room?” Logan moved Patton behind him.

“I DIDN’T!” The new side cried out and he could barely take a breath now. Tears started streaming down his face.

“The room is empty! Stop pretending!” Roman growled and he could feel his eyes stinging with unshed tears.

“I’M NOT!” The side was crying hard now.

“Hah!” Roman huffed darkly and there was an almost desperate tone to his voice. “Look at you playing the victim!”

Roman was sounding hysterical now. “I know what you’re doing! I figured it out this time! You are not going to hurt any of us!”

“I could never hurt you!” The new side was holding on to his hair with one hand, now unconsciously pulling on it.

Roman was now a few feet away from the side and was glaring down at him. “Oh yeah? ‘Cause I’m pretty sure you already have.”

The new side’s blood ran cold.

“Roman.” Patton’s warning voice came from behind the prince.

Roman raised a cruel brow. “Why do you look so shocked? “

The new side blinked up at him, uncomprehending. “Wh-what?”

“Don’t you remember?” Roman’s tone was mockingly casual.

“N-no I…” The side croaked, looking down at his feet and pulling on his hair.

“Roman, stop it.” Patton said, trying to move from behind Logan but the logical side didn’t let him.

Roman leaned down. “All those months Patton spend in fear and sadness. All those months filled with terror and doubt.”

_Suddenly images of Thomas’s car accident flashed before the new side’s eyes making them twitch._

“All those restless nights, he woke up screaming because of you!” Roman gritted out and there were tears streaming down his cheeks now.

_Screams passed through the new side’s mind but they were not his screams, they were Patton’s._

He staggered back in shock and his other hand flew to his head, his nails digging into his scalp.

“You were making him feel all of that while you formed deep inside him, _like a virus_!” The Prince spit the words out like they were poison.

The new side was shaking his head in denial and he suddenly heard a crack from one of his hands. He started gasping again as he felt the fingers of his clawed hand begin to stretch.

“And then…that night you almost killed him!”

“Roman!”

_Sound’s of Patton’s screams and cries filled his ears. Emotions suddenly slammed into him; Fear, pain, confusion, desperation, sadness._

He knew he was feeling everything Morality felt that night and the side flinched back as if hit.

“Don’t you fucking dare tell me you don’t remember that?!” Roman roared, his voice echoing through the room.

The little side’s uneven legs buckled under him and he fell to the floor. He heard Logan and Patton’s voices but they were muffled. His shoulder pop out of place and more cracks filled his ears as he felt his body start to deform. 

“Roman that’s enough!”

“He was crying and screaming in agony as you burst out of him like a monster!”

The new side’s whole body began to hurt as tears continued to pour out of his eyes. He felt parts of him move and shift and he felt like he was falling apart.

Suddenly Patton’s hand grabbed Roman’s shoulder pulling him back and away from the side. “Stop it, Roman!"

When the new side heard Patton’s strong voice his head snapped up.

Roman and Patton stared at the new side in shock and horror.

His clawed hand was now longer than it ever was. His shoulder was sticking out in an unnatural way. One of his irises was twice its normal size and the teeth that were visible from his open mouth were sharp. 

Fear filled Roman’s eyes and he pushed Patton behind him before screaming. “What are you?! What the hell are you?!"

Roman's sword appeared in his hand and he pointed it at the side. "You are not a side! You are not one of us! We would never hurt each other!”

Shock paralyzed the new side on the spot. The seconds stretched into eternity as he gazed at the terrified faces of Roman and Patton and then he was getting to his uneven feet and bolting. He squeezed his eyes shut as he turned around and let his body take over.

_It was too much! He needed to get out!_

  
He could hear voices yelling behind him but they sounded muffled and he was far too scared to be able to comprehend what they were saying.

He opened his eyes after a few moments and realized he was running towards the black door. He grabbed the handle without thinking and pulled it open. He staggered inside gasping and crying and fell to his knees.

He looked ahead and took in the dark and empty room. For one moment relief creeped its way to his chest when nothing happened. He whimpered covering his mouth with his hand. But then something caught his eye.

He turned his head towards one of the walls and saw the shadows _start to move._

Fear ripped his chest and he quickly looked over his shoulders to see Patton running towards him before the black door slammed shut.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well that's it and DAMN poor Virgil cannot catch a break! I feel kinda bad now. 
> 
> Also just FYI there will be one more chapter and then a kind of epilogue so yeah...
> 
> And well if you liked it please leave some Kudos and a comment to let me know what you think of this chapter and yeah...see ya! 
> 
> ^_^


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again after about a whole month!   
> I am terribly sorry about that but my internship got the better of me and my time. Good news is that I only have a few more days before it's over and then i'll have a bit of free time before my exams. 
> 
> Well, hope you like it and pardon any mistakes.

Darkness engulfed the new side as the door slammed shut behind him.

He could hear his rapid breaths as they filled the eerie looking room.

_In Out In Out_

_In Out In Out_

_InOut InOut InOut InOut_

_InOut InOut_

_**InOutInOutInOutInOut!** _

The faint sound off banging could still reach in his pulsing ears but it was muffled and far away.

The side's breaths quickened even more as he stared forward trying to make something out in the dark. There was a faint hum all around him. Like the room was _waiting._

He squinted his eyes and swallowed hard as the banging on the door was drowned out by the silence. The side kept staring, something drawing his gaze to the dark. There was… _something_ strange about it.

He took a shaky step with his uneven legs and leaned forward, focusing on the dark before him.

It... didn’t look _right!_ What is it?! There was _something_ about it but his brain just couldn't figure it out.

It was like...

He gazed and gazed for a while taking another step forward without even realizing it, when suddenly he saw...

His blood ran cold and a whimper escaped the side's lips. He staggered back not able to tear his eyes away from it.

The darkness before him was _moving._

Like black thick liquid swirling all over his walls from all sides. Now that his eyes had adjusted he could also see that there was a faint purple shine to it too. It looked toxic.

He placed a hand on his chest feeling his pounding heart.

_He needed to calm down! Just like Patton had showed him. Hand on the chest and take deep breaths until you feel your heartbeat slow._

He took a deep shaky breath.

_He was going to be fine. He just needed to calm down and get out of the room._

The side looked over his shoulder. The door was still there, black and cold looking as always.

He slowly turned on his shaky feet and started moving, clawed hand reaching out towards the door. His fingers were just about to grab the handle when he staggered. There was a sudden pressure on one of his legs and his eye's snapped down immediately.

The darkness was _enveloping_ one of his legs.

The side let out a bloodcurdling scream and started pulling on his leg, fresh tears immediately filling his eyes.

But the darkness was strong and the more he pulled on the leg the tighter it got, until he could feel pain start to blossom in his leg. Tears began spilling from his eyes as he tried to move.

He reached for the handle again and for a moment he thought he was going to make it. His fingers brushed against it.

But then darkness burst from the walls of his room and slammed into his back. They were like hands grabbing onto his shoulders and waist and legs and just _pulling…_ pulling him back deeper into the room.

A sob escaped the side as he tried to fight them. “No...NO! Let go! Please! I wanna get out! I wanna leave!”

The darkness pulled harder and he could feel his legs sliding back.

“NO! NO! PATTON! PATTON HELP ME!” He screamed at the top of his lungs and the darkness yanked him back violently.

He fell on his back hard and he had just enough time to open his eyes and gasp before the darkness engulfed him.

…Everything was darkness for what felt like hours and then…it wasn't...

…Then it was images and colors and sounds and feelings....so many feelings, that weren't his own but, in a way, they were him and... he was them.

An image of Thomas appeared before his eyes and at the same time he somehow saw through Thomas's eyes.

**He saw him as a kid, no more than 5 in his dark bedroom staring at a closet that was slightly ajar. And he felt fear.**

Fear that for Thomas at the time was unexplained, it was a strange fear as he watched that closet. There was this uneasy feeling that told him that there was something strange about that closet…something bad…something that might hurt him.

Thomas didn't know why he thought that…it didn’t make any sense to him but it did somewhat to the side. He knew that feeling because it was a part of him.

Then the image dissolved into darkness and a new one took its place.

**Thomas was at an amusement park and he was about 7 years old. He was standing in a queue for a roller-coaster. The small train filled with people passed by him and his eyes fell on the railway. It rattled dangerously whenever the wheels of the roller-coaster passed over it, all the metal and bolts jiggling. Thomas swallowed hard as he stared.**

Thomas felt uneasy again and so did the side.

The side felt his lips move as he whispered. _“It looks old.”_

**He felt and saw Thomas swallow hard.**

_“It looks broken.”_ He whispers again.

**Thomas's shifted on his feet looking at the whole ride nervously.**

“It looks dangerous!”

**That strange fear came again and Thomas's heartbeat quickened.**

  
The image started to dissolve again but before it was completely gone the side saw Thomas walk away from the roller-coaster.

Calm and joy spread through the side's chest and he felt that in that moment he had done good.

A new image appeared in front of his eyes.

**Thomas was in school, he was 9 years old and listening to a lady who he didn’t know at the time. The memory was a bit fuzzy so he didn’t really remember why she was there. It was some special class they were having. He wasn’t really paying any attention, too busy drawing little stick figures running around his textbook and climbing the words he had written.**

**“…And that of course is a clear sign of an anxiety disorder. Now many people may think that….”**

**That sentence caught Thomas ears for some reason but he didn’t look up from his drawing or focus on the rest of the things the lady was saying. But this disorder thing didn’t sound good to little Thomas at the time.**

The side felt something tighten in his chest as he watched that memory fly by before his eyes. Uneasiness settled in him at the displeasure Thomas felt in that moment.

The memory faded into a new one.

**Thomas was again at school but this time he looked a little bit older, around 11 years old. He was sitting with a bunch of his friends during lunch everyone talking at the same time and having very animated conversations with each other.**

**“So yeah like they said that he had to take pills and stuff for his “anxiety” or whatever.” One of Thomas’s friends complained.**

**“What’s anxiety?” Thomas asked, even though the word sounded familiar to him.**

The side felt a sudden jolt in his brain, like a shock as he watched the scene before him.

 

**Another one of Thomas’s friends huffed and waved off his question. “It’s like this brain disease or something?”**

**Thomas’s eyes went wide. “Brain disease?”**

 

The side felt fear spread through Thomas and he gripped his chest another shock going through his body.

**A girl next to Thomas piped up. “It’s called a mental disorder, idiot!”**

**The boy crossed his hands and turned away from the girl. “Whatever Miss Smarty-Pants.”**

**A different girl from the far end of the table pipped up. “I heard you could go crazy from it!”**

**Thomas leaned closer so he could see the girl. “Really?” She nodded confidently.**

Realization, fear, displeasure, unease….Those emotion flew through Thomas’s brain and the side could feel his heartbeat start to pound in his chest. He didn’t know why he was feeling like that. For some reason the feelings Thomas was having hurt him.

**“No way!” Someone yelled out.**

**“Well you gotta take pills for it right? So, it must be pretty bad.”**

 

A shock coursed through the side’s entire body.

_No, no, no, no, no….why did that hurt?! Why was he feeling like this?! Why did he think those words were wrong?!_

 

**“I heard that Julia’s little breakdown last year was cause she had anxiety!”**

**“Yeah right!”**

**“It’s true that’s why she transferred to a different school!”**

**“No way! She transferred because her parents got a divorce and she had to move to a different city!”**

**Thomas swallowed hard, an idea about this “disorder” shaping into his small young mind.**

_No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no…it’s not true! It’s not true! I know it!_

 

“It’s not bad!” The side tried to call out but the memory faded.

Suddenly many different memories slammed into his head. Images, words and feelings passed through him, showing him, telling him, teaching him about….

The side fell to his knees, the information too much for his mind to handle.

He could see Thomas throughout different moments of his life talking to different people, hearing different things, remembering about anxiety…

**“Well having both anxiety and panic attacks can be a little tiring. But don’t worry kid, you won’t have to worry about that any time soon.”**

The side clenched his teeth, feeling a ringing in his head as all the different voices filled his ears.

**“I can’t do anything I feel so bad!”**

“No….” The new side whispered as something started to creep into his head. Something that he somehow knew but at the same time didn’t…

**“Anxiety sucks man!”**

_“Why do those words sound so wrong?” Tears filled the side’s eyes._ “Why do they hurt so much?!” 

**“I heard you gotta take like five different pills for it.”**

Why did he not believe them? Why did he want to scream to Thomas that they were wrong?!

**“I can’t do anything cause of my anxiety!”**

_“No! Please!”_ The side curled into himself breathing hard.

**“I hate it!”**

_“Don’t listen to them, Thomas!”_ Tears fell down the side’s cheeks as he started to rock back and forth in place. 

**“It feels so bad!”**

_“No! It Doesn’t!”_ The side gritted his teeth, his hand flying to his head.

 **“It’s like a disease or something!** ”

_It’s not…I’m not…I know it …Thomas please don’t think like them!_

**“I hope you never have it, Thomas.”**

A scream ripped through the side’s throat as everything shattered around him.

Darkness threw itself at him, swallowing him whole but this time…it didn’t feel that scary. This time it was like a blanket surrounding him complete, keeping him hidden, keeping him safe….

All the information, all the knowledge he was given slowly started to settle in his brain.

A name drifted through his mind from one of Thomas’s memories. A name that he liked. A name that he decided _was his…_

The darkness sunk into his body and he could feel his limbs start to crack and change. His body became whole and solid.

When Virgil opened his eyes, he found himself laying on the ground looking up at a ceiling. He turned his head to the side and was met with a big bed full of lots of pillows and blankets. He turned to the right and found a desk there, with notebooks and coloring pens.

The side pushed himself up into a sitting position and looked over his shoulder.

There was a window in the middle of the wall, with dark purple curtains that showed a clear night sky with millions of stars and a big bright moon shining through. There was something quite calming about that scenery.

The side got to his feet a little shakily and looked around the room one more time. _It was nice_. He decided that he liked it.

Virgil looked down at himself and found that he was now wearing a baggy black hoody with gray stripes and black sweatpants.

They also felt nice. _Warm and safe._

The side stepped forward but his foot caught on something. He looked down and his eyes widened. Under his foot was _Patton’s cardigan._ The one that he had given him the day he was…

Virgil picked it up slowly, folded it neatly and placed it on the bed, deciding to figure it out later. As he started walking towards the door again a mirror caught his eye.

It was a small mirror, hanging on the wall right next to the desk. He stepped closer and looked at himself.

He looked like a very sick Thomas. _No surprise there._ He was pale, thin, his hair falling over his eyes, covering half of them and there were dark shadows under his eyes. He looked at himself for a few moments more, touching his face from time to time, to see if it will change but it didn’t.

As he reached for the doorknob, this time nothing stopped him from grabbing and turning it.

The door creaked opened slowly and he peaked through it.

Patton, Roman and Logan were standing in front of the big screen in the living room and talking animatedly to each other.

“Thomas can’t just go charging in there without a proper plan.” Logan explained as he materialized a small black book in his hand and showed the other two a long list of things they should do.

Patton gazed at the list for a moment looking very confused before he pushed the book down and grinned at Logic. “This is a carnival! The point of it is being spontaneous!”

Virgil stepped out of his room and gently closed the door. He looked at the screen and from what he could gather Thomas and his friends had decided to go to this carnival near the town and where currently making their way down a street.

“He must visit all the dangerous rides first, though! So, Thomas can prove his bravery!” Roman put in, wagging his finger dramatically.

Virgil felt _anger_ prickling him at the creative side’s words as he started walking slowly towards them.

Logan sighed annoyed and tapped his notebook. “No, we don’t but if we want the full carnival experience we must make a plan!”

“Oh, Logan come on! That sounds so boooooring!” Patton whined, his shoulders slumping.

“Yeah, Specs totally.”

Virgil stopped next to the couch and settled on one of the armrests watching all the sides from behind.

His eyes immediately went to Patton, a warmth filling his chest at the sight of him. He seemed _happy_ …Virgil suddenly felt his chest tighten and sadness settle in him. Patton seemed happy without him. He probably already forgot about him…

Virgil looked down at his hands, not able to look at the sides at the moment. They all seemed pretty okay with him not around. Boy, were they gonna be disappointed when they saw him.

A high-pitched laugh came from the screen making Virgil look up.

**He watched Thomas walk down the street nonchalantly with his friends.**

A few cars speeding by him and Virgil tensed up, biting down on his bottom lip.

“Oh, oh, Thomas could try those dart games and win something for his mom! Won’t that be sweet?” Patton bounced on his feet.

“Yes, I supposed, she did let him go on his own after all.” Logan shrugged.

“Yes! Fabulous idea, Patton!” Roman clapped him on the back. “Then he could go on those roller-coasters! The really fast ones!”

**One of Thomas’s friends drew his attention to show him some pictures on her phone and the two slowed down. She started showing him pictures of her new kitten and both Thomas and Patton “Aw-ed” at the same time.**

  
Patton turned to the other two sides, his eyes shining hopefully.

“No, Patton he can’t get one he’s allergic.” Logan cut in writing down something in his notebook.

**“Thomas, Lily come on move it or we’ll leave ya!” One boy yelled out and Thomas and Lily looked up startled before starting to run, trying to catch up.**

**“Oh shoot! Wait! My shoelace!” The girl, Lily, pipped up and bounced on one leg before stopping to kneel down.**

**Thomas looked over his shoulder confused as he continued to run forward. “What’d you say?”**

 

Virgil felt it before he saw it.

The minute Thomas took his eyes off the road a sudden shake rattled the side’s whole body, putting him on high alert. He stood up immediately, paying attention to all the other senses Thomas had.

 

**“Come on Lily, hurry up!” Thomas laughed still looking over his shoulder and stumbling a little.**

**Thomas was turning and stepping into the open road.**

The other three sides weren’t paying attention, too engrossed in their conversation.

Virgil’s heartbeat started going crazy and then he heard it….The faint sound of a car engine, _getting louder._

Virgil took too step forward and roared at the top of his lungs. _“STEP BACK!”_

The three sides froze.

The whole room shook as his voice echoed through it.

 **Thomas’s head snapped in the direction of the sound for a second before his feet staggered back, almost on their own. The car flew by him, dangerously close, honking away as it kept rushing down the street.** **Thomas took another step back his hand flying up to his chest.**

**“Thomas you okay?” Lily asked running up to him.**

**“Yeah, yeah just didn’t see that car coming.” Thomas laughed, trying to hide how freaked out he was. “Almost turned into my favorite breakfast there!”**

**The girl shook her head and patted him on the shoulder. “You goof, be careful!” She strode forward laughing a little.**

 

“Look both ways before passing.” Virgil muttered his eyes glued on the screen.

**Thomas’s hand shot out, grabbing her wrist and stopping her.**

**“Let’s just…” He smiled nervously before looking first to the left and then to the right, waiting for a car to pass by, before they continued.**

 

Virgil kept looking at the screen as Thomas and his friends continued to walk.

“…Oh my goodness…” Patton’s shaky voice reached his ears and Virgil didn’t want to turn around and look at him. He didn’t want to see whatever their faces showed but…

Virgil lowered his head, letting out a small sigh. Patton sounded like he was going to cry. He lifted his eyes which were partly covered by his bangs and tried to look as serious as he could.

His heart cracked a little when he saw Patton between Logan and Roman, his hands covering his mouth and tears filling his eyes.

“…Kiddo?” He whispered taking a step forward but both Logan and Roman’s hands grabbed onto him keeping him in place.

“What the heck are You doing here?” Roman growled puffing up his chest.

And before, Virgil saw only anger and resentment in Roman’s eyes but now that he was completely himself he could see the faint flickers of fear in his eyes.

_Roman was scared of him._

Hurt and pleasure collided with one-another in Virgil as he stared at the creative side.

Virgil glared at Roman. “I’m doing my job unlike the rest of you.”

Roman gritted his teeth and took a step forward his sword appearing in his hand but Logan lifted a hand to stop him.

“You look different, little one.” Logan commented his voice slow and steady, with a little bit of edge to it. As if he was waiting for Virgil to do something. Maybe there was a little bit of unease and caution in

Logan too.

Virgil lifted his chin up his back straitening. “I’m finally me now.”

“And who are you?”

Virgil let a sharp smirk curve his lips and watched Roman take a step back, his eyes widening a bit.

His smirk turned into a twisted smile. _“I’m Anxiety.”_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well ! One more chapter left and it's gonna be kind of an epilogue so don't expect anything dramatic to happen. :P Sorry.  
> Also I'll be posting the next chapter in a few days so don't worry I won't make ya wait. :)
> 
> Thank you all for being patient and if you want to leave some Kudos or a comment to let me know what you think, it'd be great. ^_^ 
> 
> See ya.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pardon my mistakes!

 

After that little interaction Virgil decided to completely ignore the other three sides.

  
So, the next few hours, at the carnival were spend with Virgil dismissing almost every ride Thomas and the other sides wanted to go to.

“Oh, Oh, Oh! You have to go with the others on this one it’s super high!” Roman pipped up happily.

_“No, that roller-coaster looks old as hell! Way too dangerous!”_

*

“Oh! That hot dog with the sauce looks yummy!” Patton squeaked excitedly.

_“ Why does it have that color? You can’t eat that!  It’s probably way pass its expiration day.”_

*

“Maybe it’s best if you ask someone for directions?” Logan advised.

_“Don’t bother those people, you don’t know them! Go find your friends.”_

*

“ _You can’t go on that ride! Those chains are way too thin they won’t be able to hold you!”_

_“Don’t say that! You don’t know how they’ll take it! Better not embarrass yourself.”_

_“No!”_

_“Careful!”_

_“That does not look okay!”_

_“Better not do that.”_

_“Stop what you’re doing! It’s stupid.”_

*

Despite it all Thomas had a fairly descent day at the carnival. It wasn’t as exciting as he thought it would be but he had a nice enough time hanging out with his friends.

After he went back home and was safe and sound Anxiety went back to his room, ignoring the angry, worried and judgmental looks the other sides were giving him. He did hear footsteps moving towards him as

he stepped into his room but they were stopped and he closed his eyes as the door shut behind him.

And just like that he was in his room again.

_His Room._

He looked around appreciating the sudden calmness in it. Completely different from the first time he entered.

He turned towards the bed and saw the cardigan Patton had given him and on top of it a pair of black headphones connected to an MP3 player.

Virgil sat down on his bed and put the headphones on, the MP3 player coming to life without his touch. He scrolled through the songs and recognized every single one of them from Thomas’s memories. He

smiled at a few before stopping on one in particular. He pressed play on _“Fall Out Boy – Saturday.”_

He let the guitars fill his ears as he reached out and grabbed Patton’s cardigan.

He propped himself against the headboard of the bed and folded his knees to his chest. He hugged the cardigan, pressing a part of it to his cheek enjoying its softness and the memories it reminded him of and

started quietly singing.

_I’m good to go_  
_And I’m going nowhere fast_  
_It could be worse_  
_I could be taking you there with me_  
_I’m good to go_  
_But it looks like I’m still on my own_

***

When Anxiety opened his eyes again it took him a moment to realize that he had in fact fallen asleep. He was now lying curled up on the bed, the cardigan still clutched firmly in his hands. A song that he vaguely recognized played in his ears.

He pushed himself up and took the headphones off. He looked down at Patton’s cardigan and just stared at it for a very long moment, memories and conflicting feelings roaring inside him before a single though echoed in his head louder than all the others.

_I can't keep this._

Virgil gritted his teeth, fighting back the tears suddenly filling his eyes and got to his feet. He slowly opened the door to his room and glanced around. By the looks of it, it was night and everyone had gone to sleep.

Virgil let out a sigh of relief and quietly made his way to Patton’s room. He stood in front of the bright blue door that almost seemed to glow and lifted his hand. He held it there for a very very long moment along with his breath.

Someone cleared their throat and Virgil jumped.

His head snapped towards the noise and he saw Logan leaning against the door frame of his room, his hands crossed and his brow raised.

Anxiety composed himself enough to shoot a glare at the logical side.

“Can I help you?”

Logan hummed. “It’s very late.”

“It sure is.”

Logan gave him a long look.

Virgil cleared his throat. “Well, if you’d excuse me I’ve got some private business to attend to.”

Anxiety took a deep breath, pulled his hood over his head, tightening his grip on the cardigan in his other hand and knocked on the door.

_Knock_

_Knock._

Logan continued to stare. Virgil stared back at him and raised a brow expectantly.

Logan turned on his heels and went back to his room, closing the door.

Virgil turned back to Patton’s door.

He waited for what felt like hours but it was probably only a few seconds. He looked down at his feet ready to walk back to his room when the door in front of him suddenly creaked open and a very sleepy and disheveled looking Patton stared back at him.

Virgil opened his mouth to say something but suddenly there was this lump in his throat preventing him from making any sound.

“Kiddo?” Patton asked rubbing the sleep from his eyes and hastily putting his glasses on.

Virgil’s mouth snapped shut and lifted his chin.

Patton blinked a few times before something was thrust into his chest. He looked down at Anxiety holding a cardigan. 

 _His_ cardigan, the one, he recognized, that he had warped around the side when he was first born.

The moral side looked up at the anxious side. “Umm..?”

“It’s not mine.” Anxiety stated in a flat tone, but Patton could feel the hand that touched his chest shake a bit .

“But I gave it to you.” Patton touched the fabric, not pulling it away from Anxiety, just holding it.

Anxiety pursed his lips. “I know it was just temporary. You probably want it back.”

“I have lots of ém, you know.” Patton let a small smile pull on the end of his lips. 

Anxiety blinked a few times before taking a deep breath. “Yeah I know but…”

“Don’t you want it?” Patton cocked his head to the side and Virgil could hear sadness creep into his voice.

Anxiety's eyes went wide and he stuttered. “No! I mean, yes! I mean not “no , I don't want it” but no I...”

Anxiety snapped his mouth shut when he realized he was babbling and definitely making things worst and covered his eyes with his free hand.

“Okay, I'll just get out of your hair.” Anxiety muttered, his face red from embarrassment and turned around to start heading to his room.

A gentle but firm hand grasped his elbow and pulled him back. Virgil turned to see Patton looking at him with a sad smile. “You know, when I gave this to you it was a gift. So that means it’s yours, if you want it."             

Anxiety quickly looked away from Patton, lowering his head. “Really?”

Patton nodded and pulled Anxiety towards him. “Yeah. If you want it. ”

Virgil didn't say anything still not looking at the moral side. Patton smiled even more taking the silence as a yes and draped the cardigan over Virgil's shoulders like a cape.

The silence stretched between them for a few moments before Anxiety's sniff broke it. “Well, thanks. Sorry for bothering you.”

Virgil started stepping away from Morality but then the side put his hands on his shoulders stilling him and making him jump a little bit. Patton immediately let go of Virgil muttering a quiet “sorry”.

“Um...kidd...um...Anxiety.”

Virgil could hear the slight urgency in Patton's voice so he peaked up from under his hood.

Morality hesitated for a moment as if he had so much to say but didn't know where to start.

“I just wanted to say that...” Patton let out a long sigh. “I'm just really glad that you're okay.”

Virgil lifted his head fully looking confused.

Patton chuckled nervously swinging back and forth on his heels. “Cause you know you just ran into your room after what happened with Roman even though you were so scared to go into your room and then we

didn't see you for a week and Logan said that...”

Virgil's eyes went wide. “Wait, what?!”

Patton snapped his mouth shut looking a little startled. “Um...what?”

Virgil could feel his hearts beating fast. “What'd you mean you didn't see me for a week?!”

“Well when you ran into your room I tried to follow you but the door was locked. So I waited for a few days but you didn't come out, which was weird but then Logan said....”

“Wait! Why was it weird?!”

“Well usually we need like only a day to get our room ready, except for Roman who needed two but that's cause he had so much stuff to make in his room.”

“But...but why did...why did I need a week to get my room ready?! Is there something wrong with me? Is...” Virgil could hear his breaths coming out in short gasps as panic grasped his chest.

_He thought he was fine now! He looked normal. He knew everything about Thomas. He knew what he was so why...why is he...._

  
Suddenly soft hands cupped his cheeks and lifted his head up. He stared at Patton's kind face and eyes full on worry.

“Hey, hey, breathe. Just breathe with me okay?” Patton grabbed Virgil's shaking hand and placed it on his chest and then covering it with his own.

“Remember what I showed you? Deep slow breaths until your heartbeat slows down, right?”

Virgil nodded and focused on his heart.

“Come on kiddo, in and out. In and out. That's it. Good. You're doing great.”

Patton pulled the anxious side to the floor so they could both sit down in case his knees gave out. Virgil could feel warmth and calmness drift out of the moral side's room and that helped a lot.

After a few moments Virgil felt like himself again.

“You okay?” Patton asked rubbing his thumb over Anxiety's cheek.

Virgil nodded pulling away from the side and wiping at his eyes with his sleeve when he felt tears fill them.

Patton put a hand under his chin and lifted his head gently. “Hey, listen to me. I was really worried when you took so long to come out of your room but Logan told me not to worry. He said that it was normal, and you can trust him cause he's logic.”

Virgil huffed looking away. “But why? You said it never happened before.”

“It never happened to one of us before but kiddo that doesn't mean that there's something wrong with you. You need to understand that we ourselves are still learning.”

Virgil nodded still a little doubtful.

Patton looked over Virgil and could sense the distress still in him. “Okay...um...I'm gonna tell you something but you need to promise not to tell anyone cause Roman and Logan don't like talking about it, okay?”

Virgil looked a bit confused but nodded.

Patton looked around before inching a little bit closer to Virgil and whispering.

“Before you there was another side.”

Anxiety's eyes went wide. “What?”

“Yeah. His arrival was a little weird too but not like yours.” The moral side shrugged rubbing his arms a bit nervously. “He just sort of showed up one day without any announcement. Like usually when a new side is created everyone knows, everyone feels it but he just walked into the common room one day, like it was nothing.”

Patton started fiddling with his fingers.

“And we were a little put off, of course. We asked him a dozen and half questions and he answered them all. He told us that he had just showed up and that he was a little confused. He showed us his door which was right next to Roman's.”

Patton threw his hands up in a exaggerated manner, his voice with a hint of frustration in it. “Which was really weird cause it was a big old golden door and none of us noticed it until he pointed it out to us.”

“So who was he?” Virgil pulled his sleeves over his hands inching a bit closer, intrigued.

“He told us he was Honesty. So we accepted him with open arms and a few platefuls of cookies and he seemed...nice-ish.”

Virgil raised a brow. “Nice-ish?”

“I mean, I just...” Patton huffed out a breath. “...usually I can read people really well, you know. When Thomas meets someone I can kind of tell what kind of person they are. You know, who's good and who's bad. Who's obnoxious, who's sweet, who's shy, who's mean, who's over the top. And...and when Roman showed up I knew he was gonna be all over the place and loud and hyper and when Logan showed up I could see his bluntness and flatness but I could also see his curiosity. But... ”

The moral side took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. “But this new side...I couldn't see anything and it kind of weirded me out but I just brushed it off back then, thinking “Well there's a first time for everything!”. ”

Patton sighed and for the first time since Virgil has met him he saw a trace of anger in him.

Virgil put a hand on the moral side's thigh, looking worried. “Patton?”

“He was very kind. Very polite. Very helpful and very...blunt. But you would expect that from honesty, right?” Patton wasn't looking at Virgil which made him even more worried.

“Patton what happened?”

Patton put his glasses back on and Virgil could see that his eye were glistening with tears. “He started talking to me. Later I found out that he was talking to all of us privately. It was nothing at first but then he would just say things that would stick with me. They sounded nice and like they came from a good place but they made me feel...not good about myself.”

Patton sniffed a little bit and Virgil took his hands in his without even thinking about it, his concern only growing,

“Or he would suggest I do something that was good for Thomas but it kind of had the opposite effect on other people. It got Thomas what he wanted but there was always something bad that happened along with it.”

“That doesn't sound right.” Virgil whispered.

“No it wasn't.” Patton squeezed Virgil's hands in his. “We started doubting ourselves and keeping secrets. We argued a lot and lied to each other. Thomas started lying a lot and one day he lost a friend because of that. There was a fight and everything, it...wasn't nice. They never spoke to each other again.”

Virgil just kept holding onto the moral side's hands as hard as he could, not knowing what else to do to comfort him.

“That was the day that we realized that Honesty was playing with us. He was manipulating us and telling lies to all of us about the others." Patton wiped under his glasses and sniffed before looking up at Virgil.  

"We figured it out, well Logan figured it out and we confronted Honesty. He just told us he was doing his job. And then Logan said he wasn't who he said he was.”

Virgil's brow frowned. “Who was he?”

“When Logan demanded the truth, “Honesty” gave a bow and introduced himself as _Deceit._ ”

Patton clenched his jaw, and there was that anger again. “He just acted like it was no big deal. Like it was just a game. He was smiling and everything!”

The moral side sighed the anger draining away immediately. “Roman and Logan lost it then. They screamed and shouted but Deceit just brushed them all off claiming he had done nothing wrong. ”

“What did you do?” Virgil asked.

“I didn't do anything, I was...” Patton swallowed hard, remembering that day. “...not doing very well at that time. Roman fought him. Logan was...very very mad. It was scary.” Patton muttered the last words under his breath and went quiet for a second.

Virgil could see him going through those memories again so he squeezed his hands again to bring him back.

Patton blinked a few times and looked at Virgil again. “Um...Deceit didn't stop talking, claiming that he was doing it all for Thomas. That he always got Thomas what he wanted consequences be damned. He didn't care about anyone other than Thomas.”

“And then we all banished him to the deeper parts of Thomas's subconscious.” Patton sighed tiredly. “It took us a while to get things back to normal, to trust each other again...but we did.”

Virgil nodded looking down at their hands, trying to process all of that information.

Patton shifted in his spot his voice coming out a little uncertain. “So I hope you now understand why Roman and Logan acted the way they did when you first showed up. They just...they didn't want things to repeat themselves.”

Memories of Logan and Roman flooded Virgil's mind and the more he thought about it the more he understood. _He got it now._

Anxiety's chest tightened when he realized that Roman and Logan saw him as another Deceit.

A gentle hand lifted his chin and Virgil had to blink a few times to hold back the tears that were filing his eyes before looking up at Patton's face. He looked a lot older to Virgil right now.

“Hey. I need you to know...that when I looked into your eyes the first time you showed up, I saw a scared shy little kid...” Patton looked into Virgil's wide shocked eyes and smiled, his own eyes filling with tears. “I saw _My_ scared, shy little kid who had so much in his heart that he couldn't handle it.”

Virgil gasped as tears spilled from his eyes and Patton wiped them gently with his thumbs.

“And I knew in my heart that you are good and that you care so so much, because you are a part of me.”

Virgil squeezed his eyes shut and threw himself at Patton's chest to muffle his cries. Patton immediately wrapped his arms around the anxious side and pulled him tight against his chest rocking them both back and forth gently.

Virgil cried into his shoulder, suddenly needing to just _let it out._ Everything that happened in the past few weeks just came flooding back making him cry harder.

“Shh, shhh, it’s okay, you’re okay.” Patton started stroking the back of Virgil’s head as they swayed slowly. The anxious side tightened his grip on Patton’s shirt and buried his face deeper into his shoulder.

“I’m here. Shhhh. I’m here. Don’t worry.”

They stayed like that for awhile just holding onto each other. Even after Virgil stopped crying they didn’t move.

Patton let a few tears of his own fall from his cheeks while he was holding the anxious side. Glad to finally be able to just be near him and not worry.

Eventually they let go of each other, Virgil’s cheeks and nose where red from both crying and embarrassment. He wiped them with the sleeves of his hoodie and muttered. “Sorry.”

Patton quickly kissed his forehead and said in a firm but gentle tone. “Never apologize for something like that.”

Virgil ducked his head shyly. “Okay. Thanks…Dad.”

The moral side gasped covering his mouth with one of his hands before pulling Anxiety into a bone crushing hug.

“OH my goodness! You’re gonna make me all emotional again!”

Virgil chuckled and hugged Patton back gently.

They separated and got to their feet. Virgil rubbed his arm and looked up at Patton before giving him a gentle and genuine smile which Patton returned tenfold.

They said their good-nights and Virgil headed for his room.

He walked in silence the uneasiness, hate and hurt now very much eased. He grabbed the handle of his door and froze.

He felt alarms going off in his brain and his head snapped to the left. Anxiety was shocked to see that the wall that was near his door was gone.

Now a long yet small hallway stretched out. It was dark yet he could still see that there was something like mist in it, almost altering his perception.

Virgil blinked a few times and suddenly a figure appeared in the hallway. He was too far away so the anxious side could only make out the outlines of a human body. The thing that really caught his attention though was the single yellow eye that broke through the darkness.

Fear gripped Virgil’s heart for a moment before it suddenly clicked in his mind.

“I know who you are.” He tried to keep his voice steady.

“Oh?” A smooth voice echoed from the hallway and it was really creepy because Virgil couldn’t see his mouth moving.

Virgil lifted up his chin standing his ground. “Yeah. Patton told me all about you.”

“And you believed him?”

Doubt pierced Virgil’s mind seemingly out of nowhere and his face scrunched up in discomfort. Virgil took a step back but stopped himself as he remembered what Patton told him.

Anxiety looked up at dark figure in the hallway and _knew_ that he was doing this somehow.

He shrugged the doubt off and took a few steps forward until he was just at the edge of the hallway.

“Yeah, I did. Because I am a part of him.” He took one step into the hallway and he could see the figure shift in its spot.

“Now get the hell out of here, Deceit.”

He saw the yellow eyes narrow and the figure disappeared into the shadows, a small condescending chuckle echoing through the hallway.

Virgil let out a long breath and watched as the hallway turned into a wall right before his eyes.

Virgil went into his room and closed the door behind him a single thought echoing into his head.

_I’ll protect them all_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well the only thing i could say right now is "I AM VERY EXTREMELY ABSOLUTELY SORRY"  
> I had so much freaking work, my exams are right now cause it's the end of my semester and i had the worst writer's block ever! I just couldn't English at all! X(
> 
> I am very very sorry for making all of you guys wait so long for this final chapter. I promise you that when i decide to write another fic i'll finish it completely before posting it so you wouldn't have to wait and yeah...sorry. 
> 
> This is the last chapter as you can probably tell, if you liked it leave some Kudos or a comment. If you have any questions about it ask away and yeah.  
> Thank you all for being patient and readying my fic. You are all awesome !  
> See ya! ^_^


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